Finding agency in the details
Walking downstairs to say goodnight to my husband, I noticed my son’s lunchbox placed in the entryway, prepped for tomorrow’s lunch. Preferring a packed lunch over the school menu of popcorn chicken and a cheese stick, he has made his choice clear. Curious if there were perishables to refrigerate, I opened the lunchbox and alongside blueberries, I found a small bag of Chex Mix.
Moments later, with my own Chex Mix in hand, I’m sitting at the computer, writing. Typical.
Resting in my lap is Marcus Buckingham’s newest book, Love + Work, its pages peppered with green sticky notes marking passages that resonate. Being a library book, I can’t underline or annotate directly, so the sticky notes have become placeholders for the words, sentences and paragraphs that connect.
As I think about my journey of love and work, I revisit Marcus’ Red Thread Questionnaire, starting with the first question: “When was the last time you lost track of time?” The answer comes easily.
It happened late last week while refining travel itineraries for the executives I partner with as they prepare for an upcoming event. I spent time aligning schedules with internal calendars, verifying and including links, balancing internal notes, creating decks to match speech notes, visualizing their week and compiling biographies. The fine details needed to ensure their experience goes smoothly.
Why, I wondered, did this task energize me, drawing me into a state of flow where I completely lost track of time? It’s not because event planning is my passion. Quite opposite actually. The answer, I realized between bites of Chex Mix and moments of quiet reflection, lies in the essence of user experience.
User experience (UX) is about designing interactions, systems or moments that prioritize the needs, emotions and perspectives of others, creating a seamless and enjoyable journey. It goes beyond the functional to address how people feel - ensuring they are seen, valued and supported.
This, I realized, is what drew me in. Whether I’m revising a travel itinerary, curating a meaningful experience for guests on my former podcast, Glaze and Grit, or preparing executives with resources presented clearly and thoughtfully, my ultimate goal is the same: to create space for others. Space where they feel cared for, understood and empowered.
I know I don’t always get this right with many moments of missing the mark, but the process of trying resonates deeply with me. Creating space, such in my case of managing complex calendars, travel, relationships and time, means offering a reprieve from the cacophony that life can bring. It’s about providing room to breathe, fostering trust, offering encouragement and demonstrating love.
As Marcus Buckingham poignantly writes,
“One of the biggest changes you can make in the world is how you choose to see and understand others.”
It’s in the details where agency is found.
