Confronting lingering bitterness
Last year, I confronted lingering bitterness head-on by turning to my company’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP). For those who might not be familiar, EAPs offer confidential and voluntary services to employees and their families, addressing personal and work-related challenges.
Recognizing that bitterness was weighing me down, I decided to seek counseling. Through the program, I was matched with a therapist for six initial sessions. The therapist, close to my age, quickly made me feel at ease. Yet, despite the comfort of that rapport and even my academic background in Psychology, I was surprised by how challenging therapy felt. I worried about being perceived as weak, dramatic or undeserving of validation. Eventually, I admitted why I had come: I wanted tools to heal but was afraid my perspective was too one-sided to deserve validation.
Her response changed everything: “Jessi, I am your person. Tell your truth, your story. I am here for you.” Those words were transformative, reminding me that therapy is a space to reclaim agency - a crucial step after painful experiences strip you of it.
This morning, an unexpected flood of memories surfaced, moments where I felt bullied or diminished. Instead of suppressing them, I named the people, the situations, and the emotions tied to them. I allowed myself to sit with those feelings, confronting the weight of those experiences.
As I reflected, I leaned on my therapist’s advice: “Get that energy out of you.” For someone prone to overthinking, this was no small feat. Instead of letting memories loop endlessly, I took action. I journaled, exercised, expressed gratitude, and embraced solitude. The power those memories held over me for years began to dissolve. By the end of the morning, I felt a renewed sense of control.
Bitterness can be a heavy burden, especially for overthinkers. It allows past events and people to dictate the present.
Reflecting on this journey, I’m reminded of how crucial it is to prioritize mental health. If you have access to an EAP, I encourage you to explore it. Whether through therapy, certified coaching or other services, these resources are more than benefits - they are tools to help you reclaim yourself.
P.S. For an inspiring perspective on mental health, check out Aaron Rodgers: Enigma on Netflix.
